My wife, sweet, innocent, introverted Kara loves to scare me. She is always popping out from behind doors and from dark rooms. One evening, I was using the restroom before bed. I came out from the toilet area to wash my hands. All the lights were off in the house. I had my hoodie on over my head. My body was slowing down as I was ready to go to sleep for the night. As I'm washing my hands all of a sudden a hand came out from nowhere and grabbed my ankle. To say that I almost died would truly be an understatement. I literally thought I was going to die. I froze in place with chill bumps going all the way up and down my spine. Kara had climbed up into the vanity part of the cabinet under the sink and was just waiting on me to come out and wash my hands. I now walk around my house constantly in fear. I'm always on my toes ready for her to do something.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of spiders...snakes...the dark...dragons...monsters...death? Or, are you afraid of letting someone else down? Are you afraid of letting yourself down? Are you afraid of failure or rejection? What are you afraid of? What you fear or worry about is often what you think about the most.
There is a docuseries, called The Last Dance, that is all about Micheal Jordan and his rise to fame as a basketball player. In the series I believe Mark Vancil is quoted as saying that people often live in fear because they project the past into the future. He then goes on to quote Michael Jordan as saying, "why would I worry about missing a shot I've never taken." Jordan had the ability to be present. He wouldn't let anything into his mind that he couldn't control. He would only focus on what he could do right then and there in the moment.
Fear of the future releases hormones that increase alertness and prepare the body for fight or flight. This is good if you have a wife that loves to scare you all the time. It's good if someone is chasing you or a snake is going to bite you. It's not good when it affects your ability to pursue opportunities or relationships because you have a fear or failure or rejection.
What fear taught me about my future is that what I think/worry about will drive my action or inaction. What are you afraid of?
When I was 16 years old I air balled a shot in one of my first games as a starter on my varsity basketball team. The stadium erupted yelling air ball...air ball. I was immediately pulled from the game by my coach and yelled at. I didn't have the skills and abilities that I am talking about here so I began living in fear of failure for the rest of my basketball career. The way I explain it is I went from being the only freshman in my class to make the varsity team that would end up going to state. I was starting as a sophomore on a team that would go to the state finals to not even playing as a senior on a team that wouldn't get close to going to state. I didn't get worse. I worked harder than anyone. I was athletic. I got stronger and faster over the years. I could do whatever I wanted to on the court, but my fear of failure and rejection was so strong that I completely collapsed mentally. This same fear carried over into my career at Life.Church. I experienced some quick success and some opportunities were presented to me. But then the fear started to kick in as the pressure mounted. I couldn't fail. I couldn't mess up. I couldn't, not succeed. And once again I cracked. What are you afraid of?
I'm proud to say that while there are still days and moments that I deal with fear that can be crippling. I now have the tools and skills that help me overcome each time fear begins to surface. What are you afraid of?
So what do we do to keep from living in fear? How can we overcome. I came up with three points or three tools that I think can help. Maybe these can help you too!
Be present. Michael Jordan didn't let things or thoughts that he couldn't control into his mind. What can you do to be present. Only let what you can control in the moment into your thought process. I'm not going to think about how to not miss the basketball shot anymore. I'm going to think about what I can do to make the shot.
Change your thoughts. There are two different mindsets that we can have. We can have a fixed or growth mindset. A fixed mindset says that my performance right now defines my value, my worth, or who I am right now in this moment. A growth mindset looks at every experience as an opportunity to learn and grow from. I am a winner, not because I never lose. I'm a winner because I learn from every failure, loss, success and win. You can be a winner too. Just change your thoughts.
Take action or initiative. Don't let fear stall you out or keep you from moving forward. Take one action right now to keep yourself moving forward. It doesn't matter if your action needs to change, just keep moving and don't let the fear stop you.
I'm going to leave you with this quote from Craig Groeschel. "Your life will move in the direction of your most powerful thoughts."
